Movie Project #02: Brokeback Mountain

Ok, it’s a movie about gays. But let’s be open minded, and you will see that there are strong meanings behind this film. Like keeping a secret that is taboo and unacceptable in the world you are living in. Struggling with the pieces in my life lately, I can somehow related to this movie. Oh, and by the way, I’m 100% straight.

Movie Project #02: Brokeback Mountain
Rating: 7 / 10
For those…: I don’t know…homosexuals??
Not for those…: Who discriminates homosexuals, can’t sit still, don’t like shows that has no actions or thrills.

Verdict: Really not a bad show. The sceneries are beautiful, and Heath Ledger done quite well as a cowboy who don’t express his thoughts and feelings well. He and Jake Gyllenhaal met and developed a trusted relationship over the next 2 decades, despites their own personal problems with their families and the outside world. But that trust was shaken in the end, before Jake Gyllenhaal died.

Thought of the day: An Australian actor with a chinese director showing the world about western cultures. What will they think of next ??

Movie Project #01: Final Destination 3

Well I guess people always write down reviews about the movies they watched. I will write down movies spoiler instead. If there’s no spoiler in the movie, I will still spoil the movie for you~!!! Talk about being a jackass.

Movie Project #01: Final Destination 3
Rating: 7.5 / 10
For those...: Who likes blood, violence, gore, actions, thrills. And those obsess with death.
Not for those…: Weak hearted, timid, don’t like violence, and people with weak bladder.
Verdict: The death scenes with stay in a little corner of my mind for a while.

Spoiler starts (it’s not that I didn’t post it up, scroll over from here on you dimwit.)

Spoiler no. 1
The 2 hot babes were burn alive inside the tanning beds (or whatever you call it). A wooden plank was jamming their way out. Last scene was two tanning beds side by side burning on the inside with the babes screening their lungs out. Next scene was two coffins side by side eerie on the inside with the babes dead. Ironic. I like that.
Lesson learnt: Don’t drink and tan.
Spoiler No. 2
The bald horny guy was killed in a restaurant drive-in. A van with no one in it smashes into the main characters’ car. The engine fly out, its propeller drilled into the back of bald guy’s head, who was driving in the front.
Lesson learnt: When people honk at you, please don’t give them the finger.
Spoiler No. 3
Black guy was pumping weights in the gym. 2 swords drop down by the vibrations of the impact and cut off the wires holding on to the weights. Black guy was bragging for surviving that and pushed down the handle of the workout machine. His head was smashed by the weights as no wire was supporting.
Lesson learnt: I guess it’s true and bias, black people always died in this kinda movie.
Spoiler No. 4
This is my favourite of all. In the warehouse, gothic girl slipped to the ground and knocked into the nail gun placed behind. Her head was punctured with nails going from the back of her head to the front, giving a new meaning to the term Pinhead. Gothic guy survive death.
Lesson learnt: Don’t be self centered and keep on talking about what you think (hey that’s me~!!)
Spoiler No. 5
At the fair, main girl’s sister was drag by a horse with a rope by her neck and survives. Main guy was kick by horse and save by main girl from burning flame and survive. Main girl was supposed to be killed by gothic guy but survive. Asian girl was speared with a stick through her body. Gothic guy was smash to pieces by I-don’t-know-what’s-that-called.
Lesson learnt: Don’t go to fair. Don’t go to work. Don’t watch fireworks. Hell, don’t even move a muscle if you have to.

That’s the end. Hope you guys enjoy the show. Please post comments if you had already watched the movie. I’m DYING to hear from you guys.

Mistakes

Mistake :-a wrong thought, act, etc.; something done , said, believed, etc., as a result of wrong thinking or understanding, lack of knowledge of skill, etc.

Everyone makes mistakes. Since you were born u already made a mistake (if not why did the doctor smack your butt for??). You responded by crying, either because you don’t choose to be here, or by instinct as most people knew it.

But look at all the people in the past making mistakes. Women were burned alive because they are suspected to be involved with witchcrafts, couples were placed in cane cages and drowned in the sea for they are suspected of adulteries, and people were killed for believing that the world is round. Boy, I would even agreed back then that we live on an enormous egg that was going to burst open anytime with Chicken Little inside, in order to save my little ass. Talk about freedom of speech.

The innocents people being slaughtered just like that was…I guess…at the wrong place and time, saying the wrong things to the wrong people. I guess making mistakes and survived also depends on which era you are from.

Recently I had make some people would call a rather grave mistake. I won’t elaborate further into my lists of sins, for it’s not something I’m proud of. I and my “Brother” always talked about this “mistake”, and I’m glad that my Bro stood by me and play the little angel on my shoulder. (Imagine a manly guy in white robes and wings, exposing his hairy legs, as a little angel on my shoulder and kicked me in the face) Thanks for that Bro, I really needed that…someday you made a mistake and need a kick in the face, don’t forget me. I’m will be here for you…waiting with my combat boots.

But I’ve been feeling kinda guilty lately. I don’t ask for forgiveness as I’m the one in the wrong, and will accept the consequences which will happen sooner or later. I guess I need to think about the people’s feelings around me before I do anything stupid next time. I’ve admit my mistake, now waiting for the judgments...

Thought of the day: People make mistakes in the world, since the history of time. Maybe people, since the history of time, were in the world by mistake??

"Despair"

Nature

One day, a scorpion stood on the side of a stream and asked a frog to carry it to the other side. ‘How do I know you won’t sting me?’ the frog asked. ‘Because if I sting you, I’ll drown,’ the scorpion said.

The frog thought about it and realized that the scorpion was right. So he put the scorpion on his back and started ferrying him. But midway across the stream, the scorpion plunged its stinger into the frog’s back. As they both began to drown, the frog gasped, ‘Why?’

The scorpion replied, ‘I can’t help it, it is my nature.’

(Extracted from The Game, by Neil Strauss)

I like this analogy. Hope you guys get the idea behind it.

Too blind to see and shed a tear
Too deaf to hear their inner fears
Too dumb to speak my insincere
Too numb to feel for so many years
Please take me far away from here
Sometimes I wish I can just disappear

-Perfectwound

Rock, Scissor, Paper

Almost everyone I knew thinks that rock music is bad. I think it's true... in some ways, and I've just given myself a tight slap on my face for saying that.

I love music, and music is my life. I'm not a composer, musician or know much about making music, but I can't live without it. Of all the music in the world, I still can't feel or understand country, jazz and certain pop songs. And techno I truly hated. (No offense to all out there, but you have your views for liking them. Please respect mine for unable to feel or hate them.)

And my favourite of all is rock (or metal) music. From RHCP to Marilyn Manson, from Linkin Park to Slipknot, from MCR to KoRn...and I love them all. The adrenalin pumping inside your veins, head nodding in rhythm and motions to the songs, the fabulous drum rhythm/electric guitar solo/bass solo/part of the song going through your head. Hey I'm real glad I'm not deaf from all that.

But as they always says, you can't have too much of a good thing. During my late teens when my life was a disaster due to some personal problems, I started to listened to rock "full time". Bad timing.

I'd became a hot tempered, rebellious, impatient, suicidal young man who thought about death everyday. I'd become isolated from almost everyone and only wore black. Only had hatred, destruction and rage in my mind. Anger was written on my face whenever I go...I was a walking time bomb just waiting for someone to light my fuse.

The time when I thought that I should really changed was when I was playing pool with a couple of my friends. I can't get to score a ball and I yell out "FU#K~!!" with anger on my face. My friend told me this.

You had a lot of anger and hatred inside you, dude.

It was then it struck me what an arsehole I was. I'd kept bottled up my feelings and not letting them out, not that I had someone that I trusted to talk to anyway. Or maybe I had kept them on the outside. But all that has past now, and boy I was glad that I didn't really hurt anyone back then.

I still listen to rock and metal songs now,about 6 years since my "Dark Age", as I still enjoy them. But I've reach a point that I'm not troubled or having sinister thoughts when I hear them now. I still feel them, but you need to filter all that negative energy if you can. I call it my 'Enlightenment' (what bullsh*t right).

But my point is this, everyone will have a lowest point in life, face your fears and problems and you will find that peak again. Look at me, I'm a perfect example... ha ha~!! But one thing didn't change though, I'm still an arsehole.

Yeah~!! ROCK ON~!!

Thought of the day: You call it an ATM. Not an ATM machine.

"Outrage"

We're in deep shit now

I just had a car accident today.

Renault Kangoo. Good seatbelts. Trust me, I tried it crash test dummy style.

“Woah…” was the first thing on my mind at the time of the accident. No white lights. No fears. No guilt. Not thinking of my love ones. No ‘God help me~!!’ at all, and I didn’t think of any flashback of my life. I don’t feel any of those thoughts or emotions as what I’d heard when people had close encounter with death. I just felt…calmed.

After we got out of the car from the door on my side, we checked if we got any injuries and found none. No one was hurt, no car was rammed into, and no animal was dead, or harmed in anyway in the process of making the accident happened. It’s a miracle that we’d survive at all.

It was then when I looked at the vehicle that I felt some serious emotions.

The car was dented at the front and top, the windscreen was shattered, and the side mirrors was like a flatten curry puff.

We’re in deep shit now.

My colleague was more worried then me though. He should be. Because he was the one driving the company’s van and he just got his license. When I called back to office to report the accident, my colleague on the phone made me repeated “I’m serious, we had an accident.” at least 3 times before she’s convinced it’s true. That’s the downside of being a joker; no one takes you seriously when they need to.

So when everything had been settled, and on my way back home, I’m still troubled by my “calmness” I had felt earlier.

Is it because I’m such a calm person?? Is it because I’m not hurt at that time; therefore I can’t feel pain or shock and the seriousness of hanging my life on the string?? Is it because I’d suffer from minor depression and was suicidal in the past, making this seems like another roller coaster ride?? Or is it because I’m already numb with my life and living without a purpose, that I’m not scared of Grim Reaper’s visits?? I really don’t know.

And I’m not trying to act macho to you guys out there, as I don’t need to prove anything at this point. Do you really want to feel nothing at all when your life is in extreme danger? I don’t have that feeling that I should change for the better, or cherish life more than before, right now after the accident. But I do hope to feel some gratefulness that I’m alive. Because if this doesn’t make me change, then I don’t know what will.

Though of the day: “What does not kill me makes me stronger.”
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German philosopher

What a view...

Love/sick Day

Today is Valentine Day and I’m sick and tired. No, I mean it literally. It’s been a long day at work, I’m down with flu and fever, and there will be some major changes in my working environment the next couple of days.

It’s kinda funny how I don’t really feel much about this year’s V Day. It’s just another day for me. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten used to spend it alone for the past four years, yes, it’s that long since I’ve been attached. And it’s kinda funny seeing my friends complaining about spending it alone this year (though they does spent it alone every year), and they were desperately making attempts to find plans for the evening, then it make me realize something.

I was once like them too.

Finding plans and programs to cover up, or rather, hide the feeling that I’m not spending V Day alone in this world. By going out with friends (all singles, of course), at least I won’t be spending it alone…at least it doesn’t make me feel unwanted, or unloved. Looking back, it does look kinda sad. Hell man, I looked pathetic~!

But I’m not judging people who are doing that, as I’m not in the position to judge anyone and I’m not saying going out with friends on V Days are all poor things.

It’s just that the hype going on around V Day is making singles feeling kinda… well…lonely. Bouquet of flowers, candlelight dinner, chocolates and candies, etc… that is just what I see all around me, what happen to the “everyday is a Valentine Day if you truly love each other” theory? And I believe in that theory. Believe me I’m not an unromantic, stingy fool. I too, have my shares of “walking by the beach, watching the sunset” thingy.

But then, as my friend reminds me, most girls won’t say no to a rose on V Day by their partners, even when they say they don’t want it. And I guess a part of that is true after all.

But whatever happens, this much is true, love does conquer all.

I got to go now, as I had a date with spring. My spring bed, that is. And tonight I had my medications, tissues for my flu, and PS2 to help me spend the whole night. And I wish all couples and singles out there a happy Valentine Day.

And to my “Brother” too, who is enjoying his holiday in Europe right now. Take care, Bro.

Thought of the day: If love-sick means sad or sick because of unreturned love. Then what is sick of loving a person called??

14/02/2006

HUH???

All my years living on planet earth, I still can’t understand why people want to do things last minute. To me, last minute tasks are things which you have not much interest in, care about, or not important at all; though you have all the time in the world to complete them. I understand some things that are important to me may not be so to others, but when it concern work, sometimes I wonder if I’m one of the few among my colleagues who really cares.

Speaking about work and colleagues, I understand that I’m an impatient and hot tempered guy, so working with colleagues who are in ‘slow mode’ really gets on my nerves. I mean slow mode as in the time needed for the data receive from the ear to process to the brain. I’m sure some of you out there had encountered things like these before.

For e.g., on the phone…

Me: Hello? BFG(my colleague) ah? Help me doing this, this and this now. It’s urgent.

BFG: … …. (Speaking slowly)Huh?

Me: ……, help me do this, this and this now.

BFG: Huh? ... … … (Speaking slowly)You mean this …this …and …that …huh??

Me: (clanging my fist and talk a bit louder now), No… this, this and this~!

BFG: (speaking slowly… again) Huh?... this, this …. and that huh??

Me: (I swear to you at this point I can punch my hand into the wall and it will break) … … … (I’m speaking slowly now) listen here (arsehole), this is (bloody) urgent. Now, help me do … this… this… and this, (or else) ~!

BFG: … … …

Me: Hello?

BFG: Huh????

Me: (ARGGHHHH~!!!)

It was then I had come to a conclusion that I can’t work with someone like BFG. I know my weakness, and a person like BFG to me is like kryptonite to Superman, my ultimate weakness in the world. But as times goes by I hope that I can really change and accept people like BFG, they are not all that bad, really. It’s just that I’m too easily frustrated. In this world where communications and understanding are important, I only have myself to blame.

Thought of the day: Who the hell in the world invented “Huh??”~!!!

"Anger is not a bliss"

PS2 kills the TV stars...

My buddy passed me his PS2 a few days back because of his exams. And my style of living had change entirely. It used to be wake up, work, home, TV time, sleep.

Now it's wake up, work, home, PS2, PS2, PS2, PS2~!!!, some sleep. Feel like a walking zombie straight out of the coffin when i work now...

The makers of X-Men: Urban Legends 2 must be laughing their arse off right now, counting the numbers of sleep deprived addicts that are hook on to their game. But I must praise them for making it such a fun game. Should I thanks my buddy for lending me his PS2 ? Or maybe I should poke his kidney with a knife for passing me "a cursed object" into my life. No wonder he offer to lend it to me for a few months without any second thoughts...

Thought of the day: When you are making funny faces to an infant, do you think he's giggling because he's amuse? Or just how plain stupid you look?

My 1st Time

Never knew that writing a blog can be soooo troublesome...
Maybe it's because I'm still not familiar with the whole layout. Maybe it's because my best friend who taught me don't even explore much, though 'Brother' have a blog of his own. Maybe I'm too impatient and eager to get things right for my 1st blog. Whatever the reason... ...

To start things off I've decided to post up a picture I'd drawn last year.Inspired by another picture drawn and shaded in colour pencils by a japanese artist...imagine that.Felt in love with it the 1st time I saw it...same as the girl in the picture a few years back (10 years ago to be exact...hmm...)

Can't get her out of my mind after so long.But don't get me wrong here, I'm not really a stalker kinda guy...Hope she's living happily where ever she is, who ever she's with...all the best to you, 'W'.

"W"