Before I Forget (Part II)

I will sit down here, with my hands towards my cage.

I can see you here, while you mocking at my rage.

I'm rocking to the melodies, thats stuck inside my head.

I'm waiting for the chances, to put you here instead.

Don't poke me with your fingers, don't feed me with your lies.

Don't you come any closer, I'm bleeding but can't die.

Soon I'll be able to flee, once my master ignores me.

Soon I'll be able to get free, and get back for what you did to me.

I can wait right here, for me time is no regret.

Right now I'm just warning you, Before I Forget.

The Last Stand

Drawn this way back in the late 1990's, and didn't expect the last of the X-Men Trilogy showing soon looks almost similiar to this. Maybe this is just a coincidence or a very vague concept of design. But whatever the reason, I can't wait to watch Wolverine and Angel in action. But I also can't wait to see how Beast (he really look like a blue furry gorilla in this movie...) and Juggernaut flunk.

Aww man, why can't it be thursday tomorrow....

Part Of Me...

From now on this blog will be dedicate only for my sorrow, grief, pain, bittersweet memories, angers, hatred and disturbing thoughts in my head. My happiness will ends here and start at a new place, for I intend to separate my joys with my sorrows. I will try to update this blog as much as I can (though updating here don't really sound like a joyful event).

I'm not made to be a bitter man. It's the world that make me to feel that way.

One

Always love this song since I was young, (not to mention naive and stupid also...)and I still do now. Recently U2 sang this song again with Mary J Blige, and it sure bring back lots of memories...

One by U2

Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say...

One love, one life

It's one need in the night
One love, get to share it
Leaves you darling, if you ,don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without

Well it's too late, tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other
One...

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Well, did I ask too much, more than a lot?
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got
We're one, but we're not the same
Well we, hurt each other
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love is a higher law
Love is a temple
Love is the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love, one blood
One life, you got to do what you should
One life, with each other
Sisters, and my brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to , carry each other
Carry each other

One...

One love

Freak On A Leash

Got a feeling that my monster within is going to be unleash soon.

I really hope that I am wrong.

I really don't want things to be like this either.

God help me please...

Blah Blah Blah

It's been a looooong week at work, and it's not even Friday yet. Been running here and there for the past few days, and I don't even have time to fart (pardon me...) And now I'm feeling so tired already even before the weekends starts. In fact, I'm so tired right now I don't feel any tiredness but full of energy instead ( huh??????). And when I'm tired, I really can't think straight... and I will keep blah blah blah about things without thinking. Right now is a very good example.

*Been thinking about a song by Kylie Minogue and Nick Cave called "Where The Wild Roses Grow" and I can't get it out of my head. Got to find the lyrics and post it up here next time.

*Had to apologize to you all...I mean someone...or anyone, that tried to leave comments on my blog recently... (no sounds except crickets in the background) For my itching fingers had done something to the comments settings, and I'm not trying to avoid anyone. (crickets again...) Oh well,... no one cares anyway.

*Was toying with the idea of having another blog with the same account. And the other one won't be so sad and dull, maybe it will be...just...a...little...bit more bright. Sometimes when I write jokes and post it up here, it even sounds depressing with the layout and music (and also to let you guys know that I'm not a pathetic suicidal guy with death on his mind :P)

*Was listening to Soulfly's "Jump Da Fuck Up" (No joke...that's the title of the song) on the way to work today and was enjoying the rush of andrenaline (No joke too...I can get excited when listening to favourites heavy music) when I thought about doing a flash animated music video for this song. But it might take months, maybe years for me to accomplish that, for I'm still an idiot when it comes to flash. The song has meaningful meanings, to me, by the way.

Thought of the day: If we hit a guy's head from the back while he was wearing glasses, will the glasses fly off like in the comics do??

Gloomy Sunday

Just when someone complaint about my blog being depressing, I decided to post up infomation about a sad love song called 'Gloomy Sunday' (No offence here, to the man that I respect). First heard about this story about 4 to 5 years back, and it made my hair stands...

In December, 1932, a down and out Hungarian named Rezso Seress was trying to make a living as a songwriter in Paris, but kept failing miserably. And his girlfriend had constant rows with him over the insecurity of his ambitious life. On the day after another heated row, a depressed Seress sat at the piano in his apartment and wrote the song "Gloomy Sunday".

A few months after Gloomy Sunday was printed, there were a spate of strange occurrences that were allegedly sparked off by the new song. In Berlin, a young man requested a band to play Gloomy Sunday, and after the number was performed, the man went home and blasted himself in the head with a revolver after complaining to relatives that he felt severely depressed by the melody of a new song which he couldn't get out of his head. That song was Gloomy Sunday.

A week later in the same city, a young female shop assistant was found hanging from a rope in her flat. Police who investigated the suicide found a copy of the sheet-music to Gloomy Sunday in the dead girl's bedroom.

Two days after that tragedy, a young secretary in New York gassed herself, and in a suicide note she requested Gloomy Sunday to be played at her funeral. Weeks later, another New Yorker, aged 82, jumped to his death from the window of his seventh-story apartment after playing the 'deadly' song on his piano. Around the same time, a teenager in Rome who had heard the unlucky tune jumped off a bridge to his death.

The newspapers of the world were quick to report other deaths associated with Seress' song. One newspaper covered the case of a woman in North London who had been playing a 78 recording of Gloomy Sunday at full volume, infuriating and frightening her neighbors, who had read of the fatalities supposedly caused by the tune. The stylus finally became trapped in a groove, and the same piece of the song played over and over. The neighbors hammered on the woman's door but there was no answer, so they forced the door open - only to find the woman dead in her chair from an overdose of barbiturates.

As the months went by, a steady stream of bizarre and disturbing deaths that were alleged to be connected to Gloomy Sunday persuaded the chiefs at the BBC to ban the seemingly accursed song from the airwaves. Back in France, Rizzo Seress, the man who had composed the controversial song, was also to experience the adverse effects of his creation. He wrote to his ex-fiancée, pleading for a reconciliation. But several days later came the most awful, shocking news. Seress learned from the police that his sweetheart had poisoned herself. And by her side, a copy of the sheet music to Gloomy Sunday was found. Finally, it is not surprising to note that Rezso Seress, the composer of "Gloomy Sunday", committed suicide in 1968.

But this might just be another urban legend, it's all up to you to believe it. After I'd heard Billie Holiday's jazz version, I believe that at least some part are true as the song is damn haunting and depressing. Other singers like Sarah McLachlan, Bjork, Sarah Brightman also sang this song before but the effect is not as good as Billie's. Click here for the english lyrics, and here for the original translation. I guess this song really is a one to die for.

Brighten Up

Recently a man I respect(and let me tell you,...that IS rare) said I wrote with too much sadness in my blog. And the fact that the back ground of my blog is sort of black, doesn't help much either. He also added that it makes it even more depressing. I smile back sincerely and replied something like, 'that's me...I'm like that."

Thanks for your gentle concern man, but I'm not going to change my blog template to apple green, with happy birds and bright beautiful flowers singing 'I Like To Teach The World To Sing' in the background, cause it really won't be me anymore (And people might think that a guy with a blog like that can't be a straight man too~!). To show my appreciation towards your kind reminder, I decide to post up something funny, just for you (Ya rite... as if that will brighten up my blog). Thanks again for your concern.

Hope II

Hope II

Dark clouds cover my innocent skies,
I watched as a devil flies me by.
Lurking in the dark it laughs at my fears,
On the verve of breaking, I fight back my tears.
I must be strong and carry on,
My hopes, my love, they have not gone.
I vow to change and cleanse my soul,
Repay all debts before I go.
To change for the better I am not weak,
I just want to see a better me.
But what can I do to erase my sins,
I am after all, just a human being.

-Perfectwound

Rasa Sentosa Food Court

Was just searching for something just now (you guys don't need to know where...), and saw this photo. I don't know who this was and we had no relations at all. But don't know why I just feel the need to post this up here. A voice inside keep urging me to show others how dark, fat, goofy and nerdy looking this kid was. By looking at this picture he seems happy, but it must be pathetic to live in his shoes. For some reason I don't know why I think that way. I wonder how is he now?? Hope he still survives in this world.

Question Marks...

I was taking a bus back home just now, and saw a little event that triggers me to write this blog...

As the bus stopped waiting for the traffic light in the middle of the journey, an accident that involved two cars crashes head on not long before; was near the traffic light. I took a glance and it seems that no one was injured in the accident. But what really astonished me and left a question mark on top of my head, was the reactions from some of the passengers in the bus. Some was so indulged in the whole view of the accident as if it was trying to capture a mental picture of it, and a few even stand up from their seats in order to get a clearer picture of what's going on.

If the curiousity of one person can kill a cat, the curiousity of all the passengers in the bus at that moment could properly slaughtered an entrie zoo.

I was thinking,... what are you people really looking at?? That you wishes to see someone you knew was lying next to those two vehicles??Or expects the victims doing somersaults and juggling with bandages all over their bodies?? And of course I knew what they are looking for, for a Singaporean it's only logical thinking that they are looking for the car plates numbers to buy 4D. But where are the sympathy and respect man??

And these people are reacting like tourists in a zoo. At that point of time, I won't be surprise if the bus driver stops the vehicle, took out a microphone and said these to the passengers.

Bus Driver: 'Ladies and gentlemen, and over to your left you are able to see the head on collisions of two different species of vehicles, the Honda from Japan and the BMW from Europe. And let me tell you, it's hardly common that these two species attack each other, and this sight is so rare you probably won't see these again~!'

Bus Passengers:' Woooo....Ahhh.......' snap...snap...snap...snap... (taking pictures)

I know it's corny but these things are going pass my head when I was in the bus. But actually when I calm down (....calm down?? What do I need to calm down for?? I wasn't even in the accident) and think about it, it's really kind of sad that people react this way. Guess that's what they called it human nature.

"I am a Jew.
Hath not a Jew eyes?
Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?
Fed with the same food,
hurt with the same weapons,
subject to the same diseases,
healed by the same means,
warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?
If you prick us, do we not bleed?
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die? "

From The Merchant of Venice
by William Shakespeare